… and scene.

Not to get preachy — I’ve been doing that a bit too much these days, I think — but there’s been a lot of chatter about this topic for some time. The story runs like this: you go on Grindr or some other similar app, and you see a profile for this really hot guy, only to find in his profile he makes a point of saying “No fats” or “No black” or “No Asians” or “No one over 30”. Or, as Kai described in his encounter, you’re flirting with someone, only to find that the only reason he’s after you is because of some specific thing he can fetishize… like blacks and Asians being “exotic”.

I’ve never been on Grindr or its like, so I’m making a few assumptions here… but seems to me that if you’re on a pick up site in the first place, you’re looking to get off and nothing else. Yes, I’ve heard the stories of guys who met on one of these things and fell in love and lived happily ever after… but let’s get real, okay? Hardly ever happens. More often than not, you’ve probably forgotten the guy’s name by the time you hit the elevator to go home.

“But people who write these terrible things arent leaving themselves open!” No, snowflake, they’re not. They just want to get off. They know what they dont want as much as what they do in order to get off (which, let’s be honest here, is the end goal, so to speak), and they’re letting you know in advance so you dont arrive, only to have the door slammed shut in your face.

“But… but…” Hush. Just hush. Whether online or in the real world, this style of operation is fast food sex, pure and simple. You dont go to McDonalds and expect a home cooked meal. Most of the “No this / No that” guys are pretty much Combo Number 1 or Combo Number 2, and you either want the combo or you dont. You may not want the fries or the cheese, but you’re paying for it anyway. If you dont want empty calories and a ton of carbs, McDonalds is probably not the place for you. Likewise, if you’re looking for a deep, meaningful relationship, a spontaneous sexual pick up is probably not the place for you.

As for their disqualifying people based on racial or ethnic identity… well, their loss, not yours. Remember that. You are probably not going to be the one to change their attitudes, so dont even try. Getting upset about it will no doubt be greeted with an easy swipe left. It’s your choice to buy into the frustration or move away from it.

Is it lousy? You bet. Is it wrong? Yep, no debate on that issue at all. No one likes to be cut from the team just because they were born with the “wrong” skin colour or cursed with the “wrong” body type, and in an ideal world, no one would be.

But in an ideal world, no one would need McDonalds.

OK, big event tomorrow. Watch the skies.