My last serious relationship was with a man who made way more money than I did, who basically supported me while I tried to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up, who never thought twice about being there when the need arose — not just for money but also on those many, many days when I was falling apart at what a professional failure I appeared doomed to be. I became more and more insecure about things between us, to the point where I felt like I had to leave the relationship so he could move on to someone else who would be more of his equal, rather than his burden. Ultimately I did — and so did he, to someone who is bright and funny and good-hearted. Both of them are good friends of mine for some impossible reason, and both have assured me that if I ever get in a bind, they expect to be the first people I call. They’re an amazing couple, with great family on both sides of the aisle. Their Facebook feeds are filled with pictures of trips to exotic ports of call or family gatherings or just happy ones of the two of them doing the most mundane grocery shopping possible.
Do I have regrets about leaving? Of course: he was a 24/7 safety net, always there no matter what. It was complete security, on all fronts. And it bothered me more than I can say that I couldnt repay in kind, if it was ever needed. I could be there with support of every kind except financial because his monetary world was so far out of my league, and we would have gone over a precipice if we had to depend on the meagre amount I brought in every month. Yes, I know, I should have talked to him about it, but I was embarrassed to even bring it up. I didnt need to be seen as a failure in his eyes when I already knew I was in my own.
So many issues within couples comes down to the same thing: communication. We will not say the things that need to be said, both good and bad. We cannot open ourselves up up, making ourselves vulnerable with someone we love, all because of… what? Pride, maybe? Insecurity in thinking the worst about the future? Still, sometimes tho, as scary as it might be, you just have to take that leap of faith and jump. And I bet you’ll find your own Jean-Phillipe will be there to catch you.
OK, tomorrow on the Posts page, we’ll probably do a single-panel one shot on something or other. On the comics page, we’re embarking on a long and slightly weird story about… well, at this point that would be telling, wouldnt it. 🙂