Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

The Packages of Autumn!

Posted: October 20, 2014 in Uncategorized
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good mood

“You’re in a singularly good mood today.”

“Why shouldnt I be? The air is crisp; the leaves are too many colours to count; and I have a hot man by my side. Should I ask for anything more?”

“I suppose not, but why today?”

“Why not? C’mon, Doc: it’s autumn — the year’s mid-life crisis, when the world (or at least the northern part of it anyway) wants to get down and par-tay! I mean, look at this! You seen anything this gorgeous before?”

“This time last year.”

“And that, my love, is my point! Unlike things like… oh, I dont know… Mik’s birthday which can come at any time without warning… this only happens once a year, and we should revel in its arrival.”

“And how would you like to do that?”

“With madcap merriment! With good food served to good friends! With presents! Why, I should give you a present right now! A great big package! One that you can unwrap in anticipation of the joy to come!”

“I”m down with that.”

“We’ll start a tradition! Hallmark will love us! And what would milord desire from his humble companion in waiting? All he needs do is ask, and the deed is done!”

“Oh, I know what I want.”

“What?”

“Just lean against this tree… like so. Good. Now stand there for a moment, right there on those leaves. That’s it. Now, if you’ll just let me…”

“… Uhm, Doc? What’re you — “

“Shut up, Ray. I have a package to unwrap…”

MOTW

As part of the new DnR, we’re instituting a new series called “Moron of the Week”, in which we will shake our heads in bewilderment at a WTF moment in the news. This particular week, being so close to an election in the US, is of course replete to overflowing, but one truly stands out. So without further adieu, the first Moron of the Week Prize goes to:

THE ENTIRE CONGREGATION OF BEREAN BAPTIST CHURCH IN WINSTON-SALEM, NORTH CAROLINA! Congratulations! And what did they do to merit this honour, you ask?

They have a “preacher” there — and I use the term ever so loosely — who said, amoung other things, that Ebola is God’s punishment for gay marriage. Now, sure, nothing new there, right? “Men of God” have claimed this inside skinny for decades, ever since AIDS was God’s punishment for something and then Katrina was God’s punishment for something else and then… well, you get the idea, right? He was pretty choice about it too. According to a news report:

Baity spoke of hearing an official bless a gay marriage, something he claimed was a direct violation of the Bible.

“If you think for one skinny minute, God is going to stand idly by and allow this to go forward without repercussions, you better back up and rethink this situation,” Baity said in remarks transcribed by Raw Story. “I want you to understand, that is raw, pure blasphemy.”

Now, we here in Canada of course know better. If God punished us for gay marriage (which was made legal over a decade ago), it seems He did by inflicting Stephen Harper on us… but that’s more a penance than a punishment, when you think about it. Aside from that, He seems to think completely otherwise about the Great White North: clean air, clean water, lots of gorgeous land… oh, and gay marriage as well. Hmm…

So why’re Baity and his ilk up to this? Hey, mansions dont come cheap, ya know. Nor do the buildings needed for super-size-me churches… not to mention all that expensive TV production and the necessary private jets and… well, again, you get the idea. Face it: Elmer Gantry was an amateur compared to these guys.

As such, here’s to the congregation of Berean Baptist Church, which is collectively apparently too stupid to know when their wallets are being filched “in the name of the Holy Spirit” by someone who figured out a long time ago that people love love love having their worst fears confirmed.

This way to see the amazing egress, folks! You’ll never see anything like it again!

You got someone to nominate for Moron of the Week? Let me know in the comments below.

Anatomically Correct! (4)

Posted: October 19, 2014 in Uncategorized

correct4

Anatomically Correct! (3)

Posted: October 18, 2014 in Uncategorized

correct 3

Anatomically Correct! (2)

Posted: October 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

correct2

Anatomically Correct! (1)

Posted: October 16, 2014 in Uncategorized

correct 1

After having listened to this particular complaint for too many years, I’m gonna have some fun with this one…

And some more changes to the boys and their friends to be revealed (so to speak) over the next few days. If ya like it, let me know.

2800!

Posted: October 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

2800

And 3,000 gets closer all the time.

Click through for a size suitable for wallpapering your monitor.