There’s been so much talk of late — thanks in large part to the sudden wave of acceptance for the concept of lesbian and gay marriage (and about time!) — that I thought it might be à propos to remind everyone that not every relationship will fit into one of the neat, clean, and well-dressed little boxes that governments — and even society — expects in order that one may conform to the accepted notion of “marriage”.
Marriage is not about progeny. Nor is it about tax advantage protections and legally acceptable partnerships, as welcome as those are. You go into a marriage because you love someone — or at least one would hope you would. But just as we gay people have demonstrated over the decades — hell, centuries — that it doesnt have to be about one man and one woman, nor does it have to be about just two people.
Love is a funny thing, as we all know. While most of us are going to be content and appreciative of the one person in our life who makes us laugh and makes us angry and makes us glad he or she is there at the end of the day… so are there other definitions, just as valued, that fit outside that norm. And we should look upon them with as much acceptance and grace as we wish for our own.
Does that mean I advocate “redefining” marriage? Nope, because that’s not up to me. Nor is it up to you or your neighbour or the folks who claim to be “leaders”. It is about the people directly involved in whatever the relationship might be and whatever Higher Power, if any, they ascribe to. Sorry, but no one else gets a say in the matter, because, to be blunt, it’s none of their business.
Now, before I hear the usual nonsense… no, this does not mean you have the “right” to marry your dog. Nor does it mean you have the “right” to marry a twelve year old girl just so she can spend the rest of her life pushing out kids for you. With rights come responsibilities, and I would fully expect everyone entering into such relationships to be as aware of the responsibilities here as any claimed “right” to do it. Last time I checked, animals, as much as they may love us, are not capable of consent… nor is that twelve-year-old girl you want as a Baby Factory. Marriage is for adults, sorry, because it involves some very adult decisions along the way.
So at the risk of turning Kai, Mik, and Al’s story into an object lesson, here it is: if something someone else does doesnt impact you or your life, butt out. If everyone involved is a responsible adult, if indeed everyone is brought together by love and not just convenience… then I say go for it, regardless of what either the Law or Society may say on the matter. It’s your life. Not theirs. So make it a good one for you. Build your own kind of family, the one that works best for you. And if anyone else doesnt like it… well, tough. They can just deal with it.
If you need a reminder, click the image above. There’s a handy 1280×800 wallpaper linked to it.
Thanks for reading this. I appreciate it. We have a bit of clean up left on this storyline, then a new one begins. God help me, it’s the Blind Dates… :-)