Archive for June 5, 2013

Air rouge! (7)

Posted: June 5, 2013 in Uncategorized
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“If that’s the case,” Paul asked pensively, “what am I doing here? I wasnt even supposed to be on that flight: I was just helping out a friend!”

“You dont work for Oceanic?”

“No! You kidding? With their safety record? Not a chance! I work for Federation World… well, I did anyway. Havent done much work in a long time, so when this came up, I jumped on it.”

“Federation World? I dont know — ”

Paul shrugged. “I’m not surprised. We were a big thing in the late 70s. Now, not so much.” He studied the map. “What I dont get is, why is FEMA here?”

“Maybe we should find out.”

They returned to the control room. Chris, still on the phone, looked up to see them and clearly resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Fine. Sit down…. Yes, I”m pressing 1!… Stupid idiots in — ”

“We saw the map,” Doc started.

“Kinda hard to miss, so I’m not surprised.”

Paul put on his most engaging flight attendant smile. “So, why are you here?”

Close to exasperation, the man from FEMA sighed. “Think about it, huh? Some of these shows are expensive properties! We’re trying to salvage them so they can go back into secondary distribution! Look — ” he pointed at a large chart on a side wall. “See that? We got 42 series on this island, everything from sit-coms to reality shows. Some of them went into re-distribution too early, and it was a disaster, a complete disaster, the kind of screw-up that makes Sandy look like a pleasant day at the park. And when they failed, everyone just walked away… except us. We stepped in, and now we’re doing what we can to save them from complete destruction: shoring up poorly constructed story lines, reinforcing characterizations, providing them with new points of view… You think that’s easy?”

“So… it’s because of you guys,” Doc asked, “that Dallas got a reboot?”

“Okay, sometimes it doesnt work so well! But at least we’re trying! Not everything reopens as smoothly as the freaking Jersey Shore!” He suddenly gave Paul an intent look. “Wait. Who are you? You I know about — you’re supposed to be in Disney for training, but you… I dont recognize you.”

“I was a sub flight attendant.”

“From where?”

“Federation World.”

“Fed — ?” Chris gasped in horror. “Federation World? Oh great. Just great.”

Paul looked at Doc in no small bewilderment, then back at Chris, smile now plastered in place. “I’m sorry, I dont under — ”

“What bird do you regularly fly?”

“The Concorde, of course.”

“… I knew it. I freaking knew it!” He pointed at the chart again. “Look at that! What do you see?”

“Old TV shows.”

“What dont you see! Movies!

“But — ”

“You’re supposed to be on the mainland, you and the rest of the cast of Airport 79! I dont handle movies; I’m strictly TV, and my department’s resources have been stretched thin by all the crap that’s been produced for the past five years! Why are you here?”

“I — ”

“Okay, this is a real disaster. We gotta get you off this island pronto! Yes, you as well, but you’re kind of a lower priority.”

“Lower?” Doc asked, mildly offended.

“Look, bud, with all due respect, no one else cares about the audience, so dont expect me to be the first.”